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Have you ever felt like you are about to explode? That you just have to much bottled up?
This is a common emotion, especially if you haven’t found a way to vent those emotions.
Depression
I am glad to say that I have never been truly depressed, but I have been close. During a part of my career I had an office all to myself. I was completely boxed in. For 8-10 hours/day I was all alone in that office.
My projects where progressing slower than I had hoped and it felt as though I was failing.
Any psychologist will tell you that being alone creates depression and when you get used to being alone, contacting other people becomes a chore, and it becomes difficult.
The problem is that you don’t see it
Thanks to books I read both literature and personal development books, I realized that I needed more contact with other people.
I vowed then to call at least 1 friend every day and talk to them; this one habit literally saved my life. It got me out of my social slump and my depression.
My projects took a turn for the better and before I knew it I was out of that lonely office.
Let it out, anyway you can
Keeping your emotions bottled up will just lead to anxiety, anger and frustration.
Once in a while you need to let it out.
This can be done in numerous ways;
Singing
Music is filled with emotion, the sounds are tailored to match our mind and bring out feelings. By singing, loudly and proudly, you allow yourself to let go.
Sing songs that match your feelings, letting it all out.
The calm that you will feel afterward make any embarrassment worth it.
Screaming
This is an extreme way of letting it out, but if you have kept your feelings bottled up for too long sometimes you need to scream. Screaming makes a difference; it gives you a rush of adrenaline and can help you get back the control of yourself.
Or just talking to someone
The best way to get rid of those overwhelming feelings is to talk about it before they have been able to compound into such a powerful force. But even then talking to someone really helps, getting compassion, being allowed to show your feelings is a true blessing.
If you box it in
When you don’t express your feelings in any way, you will start to become agitated, tired and depressed. Humans are a social race and even if we can’t talk to others expressing our emotions out loud does help.
If you let your emotions stay bottled up for too long they can even start to manifest in physical symptoms such as poor health or early aging.
Try, when no one is around
For your own sake, try out these techniques, do it when you are alone, no one else has to hear, no one else has to be a part of it. But you need to let your emotions go, so that you can experience calm at least for a little while.
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That’s funny you write this because it is what I’m good at, being expressive (and animated at times). I’m very people oriented and draw energy from interaction. I think that is why I’ve had some success developing a network in ‘social’ media.
I think it’s good advise to reach out and don’t be afraid to talk out loud, even to yourself (which I do all the time).
Good to see you buddy and thanks for your support.
Hey Bill,
That is great.
It really does make a difference to let everything out, doesn’t it?
I noticed how much I needed people during a period where I was pretty closed in, I felt very alone. But just talking to some friends and all of a sudden I had more energy and felt happier.
Whenever I am down i love to take a shower, put on some music and sing (not well
) It really helps me.
When you talk to yourself, have you listened to the tone? Are you positive or negative?
Hey Daniel, wise words indeed!
I used to have a trick; whenever I felt angry, or depressed, or frustrated, I would go out into the garden, at any point in the day or night, and scream my heart out. I’d regularly get my throat sore, but I felt great afterwards. No-one could see me, though I’m sure they could hear me, and there wasn’t any repercussions afterwards.
Nowadays, I usually moan to my girlfriend, but I’ve also learned not to take things so personally any more. If people wish to try and rile me, that’s their problem, not mine. I can only be myself, and be the best ‘me’ I can be
Hey Stuart,
Great method, to bad about the throat but it does feel good to scream it out.
Why don’t you do it anymore?
It is great that you now have learned that negativity is the negative ones problem, not your own.
Well, two reasons Daniel; the first reason being the repeated throat ache, and the second reason being that instead of shouting and screaming at no-one in particular, I realised I needed to act differently.
I decided that instead of being aimless, I’d discuss the problem with the other, and work through my stresses and frustrations that way. Instead of raging to the wind, I’d ask questions and get to the bottom of the problem.
It was tough at times, but it usually works out better in the long run
Great point Stuart.
Whenever you have a problem with another person it is always better to take it up with them at once.
If you don’t the problem won’t go away. Talking behind their back never solves anything, complaining doesn’t solve it. Only positive action does, either by you making sure to act as you think the other should act, by “modelling” the way you think people should be or by talking to the person directly and asking them why they act as they do.
What has been your success with talking things over with people?
Funny thing is Daniel, the more I persist with someone to resolve issues, the more success I have.
Sometimes, the success comes quickly and we move on. Other times, I have to leave things to cool off for a while before I approach them again. It may take repeated talks. But the more I try and give my attention, the better the end result.
I guess it’s like cooking; some meals only take a few minutes, others require delicate care and handling!
A cooking analogy, that’s the first on this blog! Way to go Stuart!
I think it is because the other person really sees that you care and want to solve the situation. When they do they will want to solve it as well and 2 people trying to solve a misunderstanding together cannot fail.
Hi Daniel,
) but at least I let out a good portion of my anger there.
I often use what you have suggested. I go to rock concerts and sing out loud (against 30k watts speakers). Next day though my throat is all hoarse
I enjoyed reading your tips.
Thanks and regards,
Ashvini
Hey Ashvini,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment.
Going to a rock concert was a great piece of advise. You are supposed to scream, you are supposed to burn off energy.
What do you do in between concerts? Bottle it up or do you do something else?
Hi Daniel,
.
You raised an interesting question. There are people who sometimes get on nerves, make life difficult. I have learned to cool down fast in front of them. I have taught my brain to get the right amount of anger for showing displeasure and then cool down as fast as possible.
I have been able to use this correctly for about 80% of time. I started learning to be assertive and not aggressive. It has been a good change and I am still learning .
I would lie though if I say I have not retaliated ever. Glad that the situations never got out of hand
Best regards,
Ashvini
That is great Ashvini.
Being able to cool down is an art. It takes a lot of strength to de-escalate a situation.
What prompted you to learn this?
Once or twice I got into difficult place when I flew into a rage.
Also in my city there are plenty of road rage cases where people all the time hurt each other. I did not want situation to be escalated when I am with my family.
But where ever I see no signs of physical tussle possible and then see something wrong happening, I do not hesitate to get a little angry .
Also doing a little yoga helps
Best regards,
Ashvini
Rage is hard to control.
I am glad you are working to take control over your emotions. Our emotions are very important but they cannot be allowed to control us, we need to be able to keep a stable mind even when we are angry.
Hi Daniel,
I agree social contact is probably the single most important thing. You just can’t get out of a negative spiral on your own!
Music is great too of course. Instead of picking songs that match my feelings at the time, I try to pick light, upbeat, poppy songs that make me think of spring. I choose my music according to the mood I want to be in, not the mood I’m in.
The singing part I do too, but let’s not go into that
See you,
Wim
Hey Wim,
No one really wants to talk about or hear about our singing
I like that you chose music that mirrors the mood you are looking for instead of the one you are in, that is the only way to break the cycle.
I agree that getting help is very, very important.
Without it, it is very difficult to break a mood.
When you need someone to talk to, who do you reach out to?
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Thanks for your comments Daniel. My sugestion is practice an internal analysis via Yoga or another ancient practice. Yes, the human contact is very important but you need to see your interior and include in your life the meditation. There´s a lot kind of disciplines as Yoga, only you need to select the right one for your time and your necessities.
That is a great tip Antonio.
Yoga is something I have been interested in doing in the future.
I have used Tai Chi to help me to focus, it really helps.